I never thought that I would be posting this and I know that it really hasn't been that long but I miss my Dad. Something happened at work and the end result gave me a sore throat. When I was little, my Dad used to give me something to sooth my throat. He was great for home remedies. Ginger-Ale or coke syrup for tummy aches. He had so many interests I can't remember all of them. When we would go to school, sometimes he would give us the honeycomb to chew and eat the honey from..He had bees for a while- the doctor made him get rid of them. He said,"if you don't get rid of the bees they will get rid of you" My mom said he got stung by the bees all the time. One time, I was dating this guy (more than 20 years ago) and I guess that my Dad didn't like him but he didn't tell me. Dad offered some 100 proof alcohol and told the guy that he should mix it half and half with water. The guy said that he was tuff and drank it straight. Meanwhile, Dad left the room (I am sure that he was laughing but didn't show it). The guy after he swallowed it, turned to me and said why didn't you tell me that it was so strong. I said that my Dad did..The guy said that it burned all the way down his throat...That was when I realized that Dad didn't like him...And I'm sure that he was just chuckling to himself as he sat down on his chair in the living room....

Life

I think the hardest thing I had to do was say goodbye to Dad..On Wednesday, I got a call from Claire, my sister, saying that the nurses couldn't get a pulse and they couldn't get a blood pressure reading either. Claire told me to come over but not to rush. So I went to my parents and sat with my father for a while...My oldest sister, Rachel needed to get out so she asked me to go with her to get Dad's carrots at the field. Meanwhile, Denise had arrived and she spoke to me and asked me if I said goodbye to Dad. I said no, was I supposed to? She directed me to his bed and said you better say bye..Well I sat down and told him again that my ex was no longer in my life and he didn't have to worry any more about that. I told him he had to go. I said "Dad you gotta go you will be in a better place it will be ok Steven,Andrew, and Ben will take care of me and Rachel,Claire,Denise and I will watch out for one another and that we will all make sure that Mom is OK" Then I told him again "You better go it will be OK" After about ten minutes, Rachel said ok Viv lets go...So we headed to the field where Dad had some carrots...On the way I picked up my check from work. So we continued to the field and Claire's Husband called My cell and asked where we were going and Rach said to get carrots...There was a discussion that I didn't hear all of so I told Rachel that we would stop by before we went to the field. When we got there we were told that Dad had died. Paul quipped that Dad got to the carrots before we did...Dad died within an hour of my saying goodbye....

So much has happened since my last post. I went to the Kennebunk Coffee House on the 8th and listened to a real talented musician, Harry Manx. His style is blues with classical India ragas. He played this one song: Make way for the living..It was so approiate for me at the time...I had spent the previous night with my mother because my Dad was not well. He was progressively getting worse and he needed constant attention and help with getting up and everything. He had not eaten in a few days at that point but he was still drinking...I felt at that time he would not be with us too much longer. Little did I know at the time, how right I was..The song just called to me I don't know how to explain it..It is a little bittersweet..I really enjoyed the show but at the same time, I felt that I should be at my mom's helping her with Dad...Sunday, Mom told me that the nurses put Dad on oxegen and I knew then that it was the beginning of the end for him..We just were making him comfortable..